Saturday, 27 August 2016
When I missed you
There are two kinds of love. One whom you meet at some point in your life and start liking gradually and eventually fall in love with and secondly those whom you have always loved, who have always been there with you since you remember, souls who are a God's way of teaching you all about love.
I had this amazing guy in my life since forever till 4 years back.
He was tall and handsome.
He was well read and well travelled.
He was kind and honest.
He was hardworking and disciplined.
He was an artist and a poet.
He was a singer and a flute player.
He was a registrar in a degree college (Sub: English Lit.) and a beloved teacher.
Isn't he a package people. He was. He was somebody. For me he was more than just somebody. He was my grandfather. I was his best friend. He was my second best friend after my father.
Some people are always there for you. So much so that you never really realize how important they are for all your trivial needs and wants unless they are gone. He was my that invisible guy. I was his favorite grand child from the beginning. I don't know why. Maybe because I spent the maximum time with him, or maybe because I never disobeyed him or disrespected him, or maybe because I inherited few of his traits or maybe because I was the only one who went to his room every night for bedtime stories of likes of Krishna, Rama, Pandavas etc. honestly, I don't know.
He sure made me feel important though. He dropped and picked me to school everyday without fail. He dropped and picked me from all my coaching classes, dance classes, language classes, friends birthday parties and what not even when those bright flashes of headlights used to make driving almost impossible for him. He must have loved me to the core. He never failed to show up on time. He was always there. It is extraordinary for me because I have not known any guy in my 29 years who have kept his promises like he did.
On my birthdays he used to get me my favorite Indian sweets, Cake and fabulous flower bouquets. How can someone make sure to do that every year? He never forgot. Never. I swear on God when I say that. Oh! How those beautiful bouquets used to fill my room with fragrance and my heart with joy every year. He hand picked each flower making sure they were fresh like his little flower waiting for them at home. He loved to write poems. He wrote several for me. He made birthday cards for me.
No one pampered me like him.
I grew up though. I went to college, got busy with my life. Had some other guys in my life then.He was always there in the background.He waited for me always. He dropped and picked me to the airport which was 2 hours from my place. I think it was his deal. He kept his promise to always pick me even when he could not walk. He sat all the way silently in the car to meet me at the airport on time. But the thing is did I notice it then, what I write for the world to read now. A world in which he no longer exists. No I did not. I liked he came to pick me. But then I never expected anything less from him. He made himself so much available that I never realized what would happen if he was not.
My worst regret is that when he was bedridden in his last few days and I was visiting him he held my hand tightly as I sat next to him.. He could not speak then. He gazed into my eyes though, lovingly. But I got up after ten minutes or so because I was bored and wanted to see my cousins who were at that time in some other room. I just said, "bye baba" and gently removed his hand from mine. What would have happened if I would have just let him hold it a little longer? What would have happened if I had not met my cousins that day and sat there the entire day? What would have happened if I would have not said bye baba and instead had said "I am there for you as long as you want me too."
What would have happened had I said, "I love you, I am gonna be right next to you till your eyes droop, your breathe slows, you dream a happy dream and you let go."
Night night ,